Finding the Courage to Speak Up When Things Feel F*cked
What does it cost to speak up?
Not the comfortable kind of speaking up-the kind where everyone nods along and agrees with you. The kind that makes you feel unsafe in your own community. The kind that fills your inbox with hateful comments. The kind that makes you question whether it's worth it.
This episode is different. There's no guest. No structured conversation. Just me, speaking from my heart about something I can no longer stay silent about.
After I posted on social media about seeing ICE activity in my town-just sharing what I witnessed-I was flooded with comments. Vile, hateful, violent commentary, primarily from men. I was called a Karen. Told to "go get fucked more by my husband." Shared in a local Facebook group where people posted anonymously racist, misogynistic, and deeply hateful things about members of our community.
And the next day, when I went on my regular walk through my town, I felt unsafe for the first time. Eyes on me. Uncomfortable. All because I used my voice.
As a privileged white woman, I've been protected by systems that simultaneously imprison so many of us. I've been afforded protections by playing along, playing nice, not ruffling feathers, not rocking the boat.
But when Renee Good was shot and killed in Minnesota while advocating for her community, my body went into instant grief and fear.
Because I am her. We all are.
“This is a time that calls for radical introspection about what it means to be a good neighbour, what it means to show up in your community, and what it means to create a country that is safe, accepting, warm, and joyous for our children.”
In this episode, I talk about:
The shooting death of Renee Good and what it means for advocates and activists
My experience speaking up about ICE in my community and the backlash that followed
The rise of divisive language and how it's separating us from our neighbors
What it means to feel unsafe for using your voice in your own town
The difference between fear-driven beliefs and love-driven action
Why we need to examine what we're willing to tolerate in our communities
How to have civil discourse that builds connection instead of division
Teaching my daughter about praying for both victims and perpetrators
Why courage doesn't mean you don't have fear-it means you act anyway
My Key Takeaways:
It starts in our own communities-what we tolerate and what we refuse to accept.
There's a FB group in my town that was created under the guise of making the community safer - but it's actually a playground for bullying and bad behavior that is rooted in racism, bigotry and misogyny. And that certainly doesn't make our community safer and it shouldn't be ignored. Because what we are willing to tolerate in our own communities is what we are willing to tolerate everywhere.Advocacy and speaking up comes with real risk.
You risk being an outcast. You risk making people uncomfortable. You risk losing your livelihood. And if you're like me, a single mom, you risk feeling safe in your own home. It's frightening that in this country- - which was founded on civil discourse-speaking up can lead to feeling unsafe, to being doxed, to violent threats.When we let fear drive our systems and beliefs, we get off course.
Unlike basic breathing exercises, transformational breathwork takes you into an altered state of consciousness where you can release what you're carrying in your body. It's vulnerable, powerful, and deeply transformative when done with a trained practitioner.Courage doesn't mean you're not afraid - it means you act anyway.
I'm afraid of speaking up. I'm afraid of the backlash, of losing social protection, of feeling unsafe. But I can't not speak up anymore. It is normal to be afraid in times like this. Courage doesn't mean you don't have fear-it means you act anyway.We must remember the humanity in each and every person.
My daughter and I prayed for the family and children of Renee Good. And then, I suggested that we also pray for the man who murdered her. My daughter asked why would would pray for him? And I told her that though he did something horrific, he is still a human and a child of God and his life will never be the same.
This conversation I hope will encourage all of us right now who are feeling the divide to be willing to speak up and ask for something better. Because we all deserve something better. And that better should be rooted in love of each other, mutual respect, so that we can find joy, so we can protect our children, and laugh with them and walk down our streets safely.
No woman deserves to die hearing the words "you fucking bitch." But I know many, many, many women who've heard those exact words said to them.
No person deserves to be dragged off the street by someone in a mask and not know where they're going.
And we don't deserve to be put down, belittled, and demeaned for being someone who doesn't believe that's what's good or what will build our country on a foundation of excellence.
Start having meaningful conversations. Try to put your fears aside and start to build the world that we want to see right here in our communities. Share what you will tolerate and what you will not, so that there can be accountability, so that we can have honest conversations, and so that we can build trust and leadership and stop this madness.
Listen to the Episode:
Connect with me:
Resources Mentioned
Renee Good Memorial and Information
I spoke from my heart in this episode, without a script, without an agenda. I share in your grief if you were deeply shaken by the killing of Renee Good. I am her. We all are.
I'd love to hear from you. If you have a topic or guest you'd love to see featured on the podcast, reach out at podcast@unapologeticallyyours.com.
Unapologetically Yours,
